Deviant since Feb 8, 2007 | Premium Member until Jan 6, 2016
Faustus, yes .. but Marlowe????
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...yes.... tears flow'd... during my 6+-plague-years....an evil Diva, BK, DV, Jean Valjean's judge->children adieu, WFB, ArthritisPAIN and the surgeon... life has no more sorrows to inflict on the undeserving so...now... am just savoring survival in exile, and waiting for the unforgiven evildoers to simply die, and/or endure their own richly deservd hells...
Flow My Tears
Flow, my tears, fall from your springs! Exiled for ever, let me mourn; Where night's black bird her sad infamy sings, There let me live forlorn.
Down vain lights, shine you no more! No nights are dark enough for those That in despair their lost fortunes deplore. Light doth but shame disclose.
Never may my woes be relieved, Since pity is fled; And tears and sighs and groans my weary days Of all joys have deprived.
From the highest spire of contentment My fortune is thrown; And fear and grief and pain for my deserts Are my hopes, since hope is gone.
Hark! you shadows that in darkness dwell, Learn to condemn light Happy, happy they that in hell Feel not the world's despite.
-------------------------------------------------------- Excursions...... Long drives from Sana Cruz to SF, and over the SCruz mountains past La Honda, and into the environs of Woodside and Pajaro Valley, the posh center of Silicon Valley Philistine Kultur - reserved for the meanest and richest in CA.... pretty, wooded, cultivated....but the Heart Of Darkness - Silicon Valley is a hard grim place to work, and often, for 3rd-world con artists, who are adept at hypnotizing yanks, and are intent on stepping over you after they have taken your intellectual assets... I have watched the process for several decades...
------------------------------------------------------------------------- memorable and very musical services as usual... L'Shanna Tova to all A few weeks filled with my small attentions paid to traditions and hope, blessings, light...finally, atonement... ------------------------------------------------------------------- Via a subscription to a local theatre, unlimited first run movies for $20/mo ...they show a max of 9 or so a week... recently seen: Nightcrawler (**** Jake Gyllenhaal should get awards...movie possibly ) This Is Where I Leave You (*** good family drama) The Judge (*** Duvall and Robert Downey - more good family drama) The Equalizer (Denzel Washington ***+) echt violent...ex-cia vigilante - strong echoes of Death Wish and Charles Bronson A Walk Among The Tombstones (Liam Neeson ***+) Similar, more violent then Taken - another good vehicle for Neeson The Drop (Tom Hardy, Gandolfini ****) Echoes of Brando On The Waterfront - Hardy is brilliant The Maze Runner (***+) spectacular CGI - echoes of Lord Of The Flies/Hunger Games - the latter is a repulsive story...for any parent... From my own repository: August: Osage County Caligula Lawrence Of Arabia Prospero's Books Being There The Longest Day Lovejoy (80s-90s Brit series) The Importance Of Being Earnest (early 50s) Rome (recent Brit series) The Sound Of Music The Music Man I, Claudius (late 70s Brit series) --------------------------------------------------------------------------- "I am in a duel to death with this wallpaper. One of us has to go." Oscar Wilde....shortly before his death
N.B., I've been on DA for about 11 years, first as ainsophaur2 (some other Hebe here actually knew the same word!!!) ....and lightsource..... and... as artin2007, for prurience, in recent years......at this time, all the prurient works on the last are in storage.... Richard Burton's wife Isabell will probably delete many of those... One of the loveliest Divas on the world stage suggested the name dofaust, since we were both quite aware that Gounoud's piece would never be heard or occur to my ex, who, the witty Diva insisted, I should refer to as "A1" - and herself as "A2" -- since they shared the same birthname. Which A2 preferred her confidantes to use. For several years, I had quite a muse, and a most pleasurable immersion into the inner circle of the world of Opera....
Attractive women with very exceptions are always limited in their intellectual development. Its inevitable. All the attention is distracting. Its simply nature at work. If you are being pursued, you simply don't have as much access to a rich inner life..... when looks go, later in life, its easy to communicate with those who have been unattractive and undistracted most of their earlier lives.....
Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. Room service? Send up a larger room. Who are you going to believe, me or your own eyes? Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others. He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot. I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five. From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it. Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water! You know I could rent you out as a decoy for duck hunters? You've got the brain of a four-year-old boy, and I'll bet he was glad to get rid of it. A man's only as old as the woman he feels. Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me? Why, I'd horse-whip you if I had a horse. Military justice is to justice what military music is to music. I must say that I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a book. I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you. I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members. It is better to have loft and lost than to never have loft at all. I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. Either he's dead or my watch has stopped. Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honour; which is probably more than she ever did. Women should be obscene and not heard. Time wounds all heels. Why was I with her? She reminds me of you. In fact, she reminds me more of you than you do! Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife. As soon as I get through with you, you'll have a clear case for divorce and so will my wife. Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
Groucho Marx 1890-1977
Oct: happy, musical holidays.... Oct: many driving lessons and unsuccessful tests, last month, Sept., and this, for my Son... Oct: a long reunion with a brother - the expat I have not seen for 15 years... much discussed October, my daughter is to be moved back to the (reformed?) SSF home... A long and pleasant outing to The Legion Of Honor in SF on Father's Day (Intimate Impressionists...for a 3rd visit...still....like a sea of art...overwhelming....) August., my youngest daughter is moved to be with her babysitter of many years And....still....too many ghosts to visit old haunts in Redwood Estates Nelson D's LifeAintKind edges inexorably toward publication! an ordeal for him! But now a reality. To Sausalito, Twin Peaks, Monterey, twice, with son and daughter From Sfran to SCruz and Back on Hwy 1 with son and daughter - many nooks and crannies (and crooks and nannies...) My youngest daughter relocates from her mountain birthplace to problematical SSF My Mountain house passes to others in Feb, after 33 years... Yahrzeit for Dad at Sherith Is. To Sausalito and long walks, and some striking art galleries... Preparing....a mini-exhibit-whole-showcase scheduled for all of September in Fresno Yom H'Shoa
Happy Passover Chag Pesach Sameach 5774
A very happy day driving along Hwy 1 from San Francisco to Santa Cruz and back, this past weekend, with my youngest daughter, and my son. A bit of a solitary Seder etc today, but more to come this week...
This day, The Ides Of March, brings an end to a very stormy week, for myself, and son, 21. An educational week. Cherchez La Femme. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A memorable poker group gathering in Santa Cruz - less time on medical histories than ever before...poker buddies
were amazed at the rejuvenated..... player (...a vast improvement in my Texas Hold-Em!)
Moral support for an author and his 10 years of work to get his final manuscript to publisher
A Memorable wedding at Shirith Yisrael in San Francisco - a most beautiful temple
The complex and endlessly depressing closing of my house of 30+ years in the Santa Cruz Mtns - haunting memories & sleeplessness
...installing SQL Server + new schemas for water utility...new widgets, basically the same t-sql the past decade++
....rereading LOTR - enjoying the movie extended soundtracks...good to hear at rare intervals
....continuing the massive Chagall bio - an art history course! ... continuing poems and readings to upload
"The Last Survivor" - good genre movie seen with Son
Finished Vladimir Nabokov's controversial novel I last read at 14 and saw Lionel Trilling Interview the author
"August: Osage County" ...memorable....some over-the-top scenes... Several trips to Pacific Grove-Monterey with my son and daughter
My new abode is largely empty, and a year ++ of unpacking and design remain... hundreds of pictures to hang, repair, or repair/matte..... thousands of books and records - now would be the time for setting up a bookshop!!!!
Arson fires in my first months in YLP!!!! .....culprits lived less than a mile away!
A blazing Summer in YLP....much like Fresno...
Attended a glam wedding on the lawn at the Legion Of Honor in SF, the reception then primarily in the Rodin sculpture galleries. I appeared to be the only one so naif as to be hypnotized by the paintings and sculpture.
Cirque du Soleil the movie with the children.... stunning.... but....cold, though....
The Spring Poker Gathering at Bass Lake, a spectacular visit to Yosemite - we are
planning a hike up one of the steeper trails of Halfdome, next spring. Well, 3-4 of us
who _may_ have the guts! The group also saw my new abode - 30+ miles away in
Coarsegold - and approved it.
Les Miserables...the movie....wonderful, if one likes Recitative from beginning to end, and no discernible beginning or end to the melodies - NOR rhythm anywhere - a talented first-year composition student could have done MUCH MUCH better...a shame given the great story...
Boardwalk Golfing with Becky and outings several times to Monterey and Carmel
and several times chilling-out at Twin Bridges, Santa Cruz. (Possibly her last summer
at the Rwd Est pool - and the first time I have not been there with her.... too painful, that....)alt Disne
First visit to the Exploritorium in SF with Becky and David. An amazement! An entire pier!
A second visit to the Walt Disney Family Museum at the San Francisco Presidio. (Next door to the barracks I spent my
last Army summer camp in! Memories!)
(2013, 2014 cinema - new - and re-seen...perspectives to follow
Arthur Rubinstein, Love Of Life
Whistle Down The Wind
To Kill A mockingbird
Bridge To Terebithia
Snow White And The Huntsman
Narnia (versions from several decades)
The Hobbit 1,2
LOTR (extended versions)
Ride The High Country
Adieux, Les Enfants
Belle De Jour
Cirque du Soleil
A Late Quartet
Zero Dark Thirty Quartet
The Lone Ranger
Hangover part 3 The Impossible
Olympus Has Fallen
Iron Man 3
Star Trek Into Darkness
Pacific Rim Man Of Steel Riddick
Started work in earnest at a startup - but an unreliable and dishonorable entrepreneur... loose ends from my move - the Piano will be the last to come - March....it came.... it appears... Hanon--- here I come hahahaha Abandoning Rhonda B - finally received her message - after more than a decade
of wonderful conversations -and - when I needed those most... I have those good memories anyway..... - she prefers a plainer, duller sort - but handy around the house! Good luck to he! Super Bowl weekend in SCruz with almost lifelong friends- and a call to a classmate in NZ .....girding loins for a return to resist an evil Judge and other legal adventures
seeking JUSTICE..... that is a slow process, but....it continues....
A few visits from my two youngest children, to Coarsegold.... the first time in 5 years + that we three are under the same roof....a special time for a Dad unjustly punished by a judge who is a combination of Jean Valjean's Judge - and Cotton Mather - melded into one... hope remains for justice from the Feds and ACLU...
More progress unpacking... including making curtains, repairing furniture, local fires from arsonists come close ...!
....and...shoved aside a few tons to make room for a big H-Davidson of my brother's.... glad to return favors!
..a wonderful Yom Kippur 5774 at Sherith Israel - great music, and...spirit...et al......music that was very
comparable to that of Shir Hadash, in quality and spiritual depth...
Moving my brother's H-Davidson that was shipped from SArabia - a bit of an adventure that ended fine.
Another - but costly adventure - shopping for engines, but finally....rebuilding my Saturn engine, to pass the CA smog tests!
(Note, much labor, including car mechanics, is often 40%+ less a few hundred miles away from big cities.)
Also in September 2013: Trips to Twin Bridges Beach in Santa Cruz with my two youngest (15, 20) children.
Next: moving my son, 20, in to live with me, and preparing his likely room: a fairly large RV, which he likes,
but which needs to be emptied, since its been a storage locker! ?? Where to put several thousand books,
and a like number of LPs? (The garage is also full!...so a storage shed is in the offing...ha .... downsizing is
on the agenda in years ahead, except for art, music, and only a fraction of my library!)
Disappointment at not being able to disengage to travel to visit relatives old friends, and special DA friends
2002 a very good year at PGE
many trips with the family to Berkeley - North Berkely and Albany - SF, esp. Japantown, Chinatown, and North Beach one engagement with a pro photag in SF - great shots of me in business attire (the one and only engagement with a pro - it didn't take long for me to realize I could do better myself) 2003 continuing digital art experiments - since 1999 --....artsig ...finishing engagement at PGE...could've stayed longer a frustrating short engagement at EDS after PGE - they wanting mainframe skills long unused, dormant 2004 some tough times financially
my first letters and communiques with a certain muse, at Artsig started a rather good engagement at Sandisk 2005 finished a longish engagement at Sandisk in Sunnyvale - remembering many blocks of empty office bldgs A hellish engagement in Ft Smith Ark at Beverly - an emotional and bad consulting manager
however, a beautiful old town - my last visit with Uncle Loren - and a drive to Grove This year, and as all preceding, for a decade, and all subsequent, weekly outings with my children.... With the children, always, countless pleasures in parks, walks, cinema, beach, golf, Santa Cruz, SF Late in the year, after much correspondence with an unknown lady at an art site, she reveals more of herself to me re her work as a professional musician - a prominent one, who relishes Art as an escape from the stressful world of the Opera - from the inside, at least....she becomes a muse My muse attempts intervene and to reconcile my wife and I - to no avail
2006 My first classroom experience in Music for many years - a survey of the Opera The muse reveals herself in actuality, during the first class I have attended in many years - a history of Opera - I revel in a new art form and my new muse....I learn much I start an engagement as an employee of an unusually sympatico IT company, SPL This winter is a harsh one for my muse - a child lost - more mistreatment by her abusive spouse My Muse and I correspond and communicate much, perhaps too much for the Net
2007 Much of the year banished to my cottage, a strange and unexpected "accident", cookies from Erin(!) Betrayal by a My Muse A meeting with the Muse backstage, Jeanne as photographer at Zellerbach Hall in Berkeley, after her recital - I said the wrong thing to the muse, she turns her back and walks away...Her potty-mouth teenage daughter blasts me online as a proxy... I unwisely....vent....online -- - but apologize several times - The Muse's staff knows nothing, and communicates nothing I continue living in my cottage - a big mistake not to have continued, in retrospect... The estate estate "bubble" in the US hits me, I loose - big-time- my BK 13 follows Arthritis pain prevents me from walking more than a few hundred feet w/o having to rest the ain... 2008 Oracle buys a smaller, successful IT company -- my employer, and unpleasant cultural changes ensue, of course. I move out of my cottage, and return to under the same roof as my children Travels for Oracle to MN, Virginia Beach, The Oregon ISO in Portland 2009 Meet old friends John and Deirdre at Moss landing.... I can barely walk a few hundred feet An adventure, long-planned, disappointed, and with it, a return to a more realistic world view My first serious surgery - orthopedic - and, thankfully, the end of many years of pain Confined to a hellish "old age" center - for "rehab" after my operation - against several who advised against this - but refused comfort and shelter by my Ex at my own house.... ....earlier memories of 2009: A good conversation with Tom Steen and Bronc (last of the male Jacksons) Good movies with David and Becky: Avatar (beautiful) and Sherlock Holmes (revisionist) Extreme anxiety + pain + unproductive at Oracle in the runup to surgery all thiis year A Trip to Disneyland with David, Becky, Suzie Dean Kanas stranded, out of work during the holidays A surprise Facebook greeting from Guy Max Orlovitz unsuccessful dating! ....Peggy T,...but Dr Linda B remained... New Years Eve dinner at Takara (sans Suzy - with Chris - substantial relationship)) SF Ballet nutcracker with the children - beautiful and opulent but distant Tara Mc.... a new lady, tenant in my cottage DPI reunion last Aug and seeing all (Janice Thorburg, Puorros, et al...) meetings with Shir Hadash and Rabbi Melanie + the yahrzeits she mentioned this year Jeannes old trailer moved early in year to Laverne, filled now with books & donations meetings with JCC re art Meeting with John and Deirdre at Zelda's + Dr Linda first meeting.... A good conversation with Bennett Great printing on fabric at DPI in SF A Visit to the NW to see Rhonda, Jay, Miles, Sally... barely able to walk..... First and last scene at F-M (Lorrett, Estrella) + subsequent writings Moved storage possessions to larger facility with David Aunt Rela passing Carole Sue Steen Kelly passing Uncle Loren passing Jeanne's offer to stay in SF - Jeanne to Egypt with Mark in Jan Late Oct Left Hip Replacement by Los Gatos Surgeon, with no time for a second opinion World Series Yankees + Boston at Rehab Center surgery trauma + rehab facility trauma and anxiety + visits HELLISH REHAB CENTER CHERRY BLOSSOM FOR 11 DAYS AFTER HIP REPLACEMENT - ANYA HAD REFUSED HELP AT HOME Visits by Jeanne, R'Melanie and Anya/Kids to Rehab Center Exit old redneck tenant Lisa.... Becky's 13th b-day Bowling party movies: Avatar, A Christmas Carol (jim carrey), princess & the frog, planet 51, bedtime stories, g-force, (terminators with David), distract 9 with David, UP, finding neverland, HP movie: the half-blood prince .............. 2010
Severe foot surgery (and, a mediocre surgeon!) in Santa Cruz for the long-delayed
bunion - Dr Lee's bad idea to postpone this for a decade+ had severe consequences .... Rehab for foot at Jeanne's and Mark's first house at The Villages in San Jose A Car accident with my daughter, who was unhurt, but, for myself, - more pain - for a few years to come The NutCracker - this time in Sf - inferior to San Jose - one of the last with all three children...
A pleasant time with the children, but pain-filled first half of the year with Arthritis - albeit perhaps the last six months in my house of 32 years .... A successful surgery for my youngest daughter's Epilepsy at UCSF - and scorn and nausea for EIGHT years of bad medicine from STANFORD mds Another successful surgery for a spine fusion for moi at UCSF - relief from pain!!!! great technology and surgeon!! .....rehab in SF at Jeanne's...my ex again refused me to rehab at home with the children.... Memorable readings at Jeanne's in SF....Parker....several Roman A Clef... The Ex went back on her promises of equal custody and an evil judge - Jean Valjean's - sided with her Surprise at the Evil and Brazen Lies from adults who should know better Spine surgery and freedom from most pain!!!! Rehabbing in a home in SF.....went around Jeanne's old haunts and walks...charming neighborhoods... A TERRIBLE mistake to leave my house w/o being ordered to do so! (my ex should've moved and been with her criminal-- 18 arrests, one felony conviction - Jean Valjean's judge - mixed with Cotton Mather -- thought nothing of such a
parent-model - infinitely unjust and frustrating!) Re-connected with one wonderful old friend - who repaid many times over goodness I brought her way several decades ago! Truly, bread cast on the the waters.... Jean Valjean's Judge (ignores the letter AND spirit of the law) - an ensuing long missal to the Calif Supreme Court is in the works .... UNJUSTIFIED, unreasonable separation from my children, except on weekends.... has been the bane of my existence from this year onward... Resumed programming and software engineering...a very good intellectual discipline..... I remain FULL of art for future work, and satisfy myself for the present with revisions of previous work, ....and small commissions for stock for artwork to come.....
many fine weekend outings with my children: Legion of Honor in SF - wonderful Rodin sculptures aplenty! Palace of Fine Arts in SF - indigenous tribal art exhibits... wondrous Impressionists and Dutch Masters! a tour of SF Bay historical-Mission-Mexican history places for my son's class project... movies a plenty, and frankly the greatest enjoyment, aside from the few I've seen by myself has been seeing them, except for a few, with my childen, and a few with a dear old friend... Merrigold Hotel,
Argo, Sherlock Holmes A Game...
Big Miracle, Anna Karenina, The Hunger Games, Snow White and the Huntsman, Brave, The amazing spider-man,
The Hobbit, Hotel Transylvania, The Avengers, Lincoln, Lincoln Vampire Killer, The Life Of Pi, The Grey Seeing my eldest daughter during the holidays - otherwise an uncommunicative - daughter - at the end of the year, was such a pleasure! house-hunting with a benefactor..... successful!!! .....found, moved 3+ hours drive from the SF Bay area - to nearly as lovely an area as the Santa Cruz Mountains, and, another chance at a startup - the 3rd time may be the charm ....already experienced two ill-fated ones - .....1 year each - in the dot-com era... .....Along with many thousands of others....frustrations with WFB - now resolved to file
Current Residence: in exile Favourite genre of music: omnivorous - sdorr on youtube Favourite photographer: Curtis, Vishniac ...so..... many Favourite style of art: ...omniverous Personal Quote: When you depart, no one will ever say "he should've spent more time at the office"